The League of Ridiculous Villains, Part Four

The League of Ridiculous Villains, Part Four

Our not-exactly lovable loser from the Silver Age of Marvel Comics this time is The Voice of Doom, who pitted himself against Ant-Man back in Tales to Astonish # 42, April 1963. After a non-descript radio announcer was exposed to ionized atoms from a nearby laboratory, he gained the power to make anyone who heard his voice believe what he said and obey his commands. Seeking a way to make money off this good fortune, the guy decides to take on Ant-Man, based on this monumentally-flawed logic…“If I can defeat Ant-Man, I can defeat anyone.”

Say what now? Sure, there weren’t a ton of super-heroes around the Marvel Universe back in ’63, but in a world where Thor, Iron Man, Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four are for the most part already well-known, the best this guy could do was Ant-Man? They divide boxing matches up by weight class for a reason, and it isn’t because the little guys beat up the big guys. This googan figures after Ant-Man, the others will be a cakewalk? Maybe the ionized atoms made him delusional, too. To top off his ridiculousness, the guy was defeated by Ant-Man-induced laryngitis for crying out loud!

As an aside, “the Voice of Doom” was a nickname listeners had for Lorne Greene, who was the principal newsreader for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation National News in the 1930’s and ‘40’s. (Someone at Marvel was obviously hip to that little tidbit at some point, because when it came time to assign the Voice a real name, it was chosen to be Jason Lorne Cragg.)

Part Four’s DC villain is the Bug-Eyed Bandit, who was first brave enough to call himself that in public in The Atom #26, Aug-Sept 1966. If the villain name alone isn’t enough to earn him a spot on the League, the guy’s secret identity was Bertram Larvan. Larvan…Larva, get it? And check out that costume! Yeesh! Amazingly, this guy was one of the Atom’s main villains during the Silver Age. The story may be apocryphal, but word is that Marv Wolfman killed off the Bug-Eyed Bandit in the landmark Crisis on Infinite Earths maxi-series because he did not want to work for a company that would print stories involving such asinine characters.

The Voice of Doom and the Bug-Eyed Bandit are both proof that while shrinking heroes are visually interesting and no doubt provide artists and writers lots of fun in concocting their various travails, by and large these little guys are only able to handle losers from the absolute bottom of the super villain barrel.

Random Review #4. The Incredible Hulk #131, September 1970

Random Review #4: The Incredible Hulk #131, September 1970

“A Titan Stalks the Tenements!”

Roy Thomas, writer
Herb Trimpe, artist
John Severin, inker

The splash page of The Incredible Hulk #131 depicts the Hulk in the wooded outskirts of a large city. He is searching for Bruce Banner, from whom he had been physically separated in the previous issue.

At that same time, at an unnamed military base on the outer fringes of that same unnamed urban area, Bruce Banner confers with Betty Ross and her father, General Thunderbolt Ross. The General assures Banner that he is safe there, but Betty fears the Hulk can menace them anywhere. General Ross reiterates his desire to destroy the Hulk, and Betty objects, citing Bruce’s theory that the Hulk’s destruction may kill him as well. Bruce bravely says that facing death would be worth it to rid the world of the Hulk.

“Just now” on Harper Street in Los Angeles, a 15-year-old African American boy grabs a woman’s purse and runs away. He takes shelter in a fire-gutted tenement, weeping over being called a thief. Even though he reconsidered and dropped the purse where the woman could find it, the young orphan is sure that sooner or later his lack of money and food will force him to go through with a crime.

From out of nowhere the Hulk appears. The two outsiders strike up an unlikely friendship. The boy, Jim Wilson, observes that they have a lot in common, and, even with his gamma ray addled brain, the Hulk realizes that the world hates them both because they are different. Jim shares his last food, a candy bar, with the Hulk and agrees to help the Hulk find Banner.

That night, Jim slips onto the military base and eavesdrops at the window as Bruce, Betty and the General discuss their plans. Banner is afraid that a full-out military assault will endanger countless civilians, and proposes that they attempt to trick the Hulk into re-merging with him. Jim is impressed by Banner’s courage, then is captured by base security and brought before the General. Jim reveals the Hulk’s whereabouts and Banner reassures the boy that they will make every effort to capture the Hulk without harming him.

Suddenly, a condition red alert sweeps across the base. The radar blip that triggered the alarm is not the Hulk. Rather, it is Iron Man. He offers his assistance and a plan is quickly set in motion. The gammatron device which first separated Bruce and the Hulk is brought in, and Jim reluctantly agrees to lure the Hulk out of hiding.

Jim returns to the tenement and coaxes the Hulk to leave with him. The trap is sprung, but Iron Man cannot fire the gammatron before Jim gets clear. Hulk realizes he has been duped and grabs the boy. Iron Man zooms to Jim’s aid, freeing him as he smashes into the Hulk. Concerned for Jim’s safety, Iron Man is snatched up by the Hulk but manages to escape thanks to his repulsor rays.

In a desperate bid to keep Hulk from leaping away, Iron Man allows himself to be hit. Even though downed, Iron Man is still in the line of fire, preventing use of the gammatron. He blasts loose the top two floors of an abandoned building, dropping them onto the Hulk.

Iron Man fears that the Hulk has been killed, but the Hulk erupts from beneath the tons of rubble unharmed. Finally, Iron Man is clear and Ross’ men fire the gammatron. The Hulk is knocked to his knees and Banner charges in so that he and the Hulk can be blasted at the same time. The Gammatron works, merging the two figures, and Banner is absorbed into the Hulk. Unconscious, the Hulk is restrained. Although reassured by General Ross that he did the right thing, young Jim Wilson has his doubts.

I still recall the day I first read this comic back in 1970. It was the first time I’d ever seen Iron Man go up against the Hulk one-on-one. I didn’t realize it at the time, of course, but the issue is also something of a landmark, introducing Jim Wilson who would serve as the Hulk’s sidekick and ally for years to come. The 1994 issue chronicling Jim’s death from AIDS was one of the most poignant I’ve ever read.

The Herb Trimpe art in this issue was very well done. The gammatron was impressively designed and the fight scene packed a lot of action into a mere four pages. John Severin’s inks compliment Trimpe’s pencils in a way that certain others did not. For readers who grew up collecting Hulk in the late ‘60’s and early ‘70’s, Trimpe will always be the definitive Hulk artist. Roy Thomas once again displayed that he possessed an inherent understanding of the Hulk’s character and took the bold move of introducing a new teen sidekick to replace Rick Jones, who was off having adventures of his own in the Captain Marvel series by then.

Bottom Line: This comic is one of my favorites, not only for personal reasons but also because of its compelling storytelling and exciting artwork.

Random Review #3: Avengers #17, June 1965

Random Review #3, Avengers #17, June 1965

“Four Against The Minotaur!”

Stan Lee, writer
Don Heck, artist
Dick Ayers, inker

This issue marks the very first adventure of “Cap’s Kooky Quartet”, the second major Avengers line-up. Powerwise, the team of Cap, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver are a far cry from the days of Thor, Hulk, Giant Man, Wasp, and Iron Man, but the Kirby-drawn cover depicting the new guys squaring off against a rock-rending monster while an ethereal image of the Hulk looms behind them was probably enough to sell plenty of books all by itself.

A scene similar to the cover (minus the Hulk) is used for the splash page. The story really gets underway on page two, with Captain America concluding his new charges’ introductory tour of Avengers Mansion. Quicksilver and Hawkeye both think that they will soon replace Cap as leader. Cap observes the group is obviously short on raw power, and suggests they seek out the Hulk to provide the strength they need to replace that lost when Giant Man, Iron Man, and Thor left. Cap is also canny enough to realize the newcomers doubt his ability to lead them, and is forced to quash Hawkeye’s suggestion that the right of leadership be put to a vote. The Scarlet Witch speaks out on Cap’s behalf, citing his experience as his primary qualification.

Soon, reports of the Avengers’ search for their former ally appear in the media. The Hulk, though, is involved in his own fantastic adventure, as indicated in a panel form Tales to Astonish #69.

Cap ushers the three new Avengers into the mansion’s “Play Room”, designed to serve as their training facility. Hawkeye and Quicksilver put on an admirable display of their abilities, but a sudden attack by a huge green robot interrupts the session. Cap pits himself against the intruder first, expertly avoiding the machine’s blows, but proves unable to damage it, even with his shield. The other three Avengers come to his aid: Scarlet Witch causes the thing to fall with her hex power, Quicksilver pries open a control panel, and Hawkeye fires an arrow into the exposed innards, destroying the robot. As it lies in wreckage, the robot informs the Avengers they will find the Hulk in the desert.

The reader learns that the robot was sent by the Mole Man, who is still smarting from his last run-in with the heroes in Avengers #12, January 1965. He orders his subterranean subjects to prepare his Minotaur to await the arrival of the Avengers.

The team flies west in their “newest model jet-stream cruiser” (this was some time before the introduction of the Quinjet). Their search initially proves fruitless, and readers discover why in a panel showing the Hulk smashing through a glass-like partition to go after the Leader, presumably again from Tales to Astonish #69.

Without warning, the Mole Man springs his trap, opening a concealed pit directly under the Avengers’ feet. They arrest their fall thanks to Hawkeye’s suction-tipped cable arrow, and lower themselves to the bottom of the hole. Quicksilver speeds off to investigate the cavern but returns moments later scared out of his little green booties.

The cause of his consternation soon follows, a gigantic ape-like monstrosity with huge horns. Cap’s shield proves ineffective against the thing, as does Hawkeye’s blast arrow (in spite of his bravado). The monster pursues them, causing a rockslide that cuts Quicksilver off from his sister and the others.

Cut back to the Hulk’s battle with the Leader. Nothing seems capable of slowing the Jade Giant’s progress as he tears after his quarry, “less than one mile away”.

Quicksilver attempts to breach the rockslide and is attacked by the Mole Man’s slaves. His eludes their grasp with his super-speed, but is felled by a gas gun and brought before their ruler. Displeased with the white-haired mutant’s defiance, Mole Man orders Quicksilver thrown in the dungeon.

Back on the other side of the cave-in, Cap orders Hawkeye to hit the Minotaur with his flare arrow, reasoning that a subterranean creature would be vulnerable to intense light. Sure enough, the monster is blinded by the flare and Cap follows up the attack by hurling his shield at overhead rocks which drop onto the Minotaur. As anticipated by Cap, the creature butts at Cap with its great horns, and, with a timely hex-powered assist from the Scarlet Witch, the horns get hopelessly stuck in the rocky wall.

Meanwhile, Mole Man subjects Quicksilver to “ultrasonic vibro-waves” in an effort to force Quicksilver to reveal the secret of his super speed. Quicksilver bravely endures the torture long enough for his teammates to come to his rescue. Hawkeye frees Quicksilver with a pair of arrows and Scarlet Witch destroys the vibro-wave device with her hex power. Mole Man is forced to dodge Cap’s shield and sends his little yellow slaves after the red, white, and blue Avenger, but Hawkeye’s stun-blast arrow stops them cold. The Mole Man then falls back to his control panel and sends the four fighting mad Avengers back to the surface within a glass-enclosed elevator. As they leave in their jet, the Avengers realize that although they never found the Hulk, they did learn that with proper teamwork they were “strong enough for any foe”.

In one last aside, Bruce Banner is shown being examined by military personnel in a wrecked laboratory. They pronounce that he has “no pulse at all”!

This story marked the debut of the Avengers’ second-generation lineup, and showcased their abilities quite well. All four of them played an integral part in the action, something that was not always the case when Thor and Iron Man were around to overshadow the others.

Stan Lee’s ability to give each character their own personality and voice made this an enjoyable stretch in the Avengers series. Reading Hawkeye’s dialogue and thought balloons, the reader can easily recognize that this is indeed the same cocky hothead Iron Man previously battled in the pages of Tales of Suspense. Cap’s doubts about his ability to keep the three ex-villains under tight rein made him seem all the more human, and the scene where the young and still relatively inexperienced Quicksilver came running into Cap’s arms in fright was a nice contrast to his swell-headed thoughts of replacing Cap as leader back on page two.

The Don Heck art is serviceable, but he was never one of my favorites. Still, he does deliver some splendid action stuff like Cap against the robot on page six, and the renewed assault on the Minotaur on page sixteen.

Bottom Line: A landmark book in a lot of ways, but not an especially memorable story in and of itself.

The League of Ridiculous Villains, Part Three

The League of Ridiculous Villains, Part Three

I know a pretty high percentage of Spider-Man foes have been animal-themed, but the Kangaroo, from Amazing Spider-Man #81, February 1970, has to be one of the all-time worst. Against a guy with the speed, strength, and smarts of Spider-Man, you’ve either got have some serious power of your own, or be crafty enough to manipulate circumstances so that Spidey doesn’t just swing up and punch your face in. Kangaroo had no super powers and, to make matters worse, didn’t have much in the way of brains either. His “master plan” consisted of stealing a case just because there were armed guards protecting it. The case contained deadly experimental bacteria but, figuring it was “jewels or something”, this loser just stuffed into his fur vest and started pulling other strong-arm robberies. The only reason Spidey didn’t totally hammer this idiot was because he afraid of accidentally opening the bacteria vial.

On top of all that, Kangaroo’s origin takes the cake, or should I say, vegemite sandwich. He was (no fooling!) an Australian who used to spend his vacations in the outback studying kangaroos…living where kangaroos lived, eating what kangaroos ate, traveling where kangaroos went, drinking what kangaroos drank, pooping where kangaroos pooped, etc. Exactly why he did this is never stated, but, in some twisted comic book way, all this kangaroo time made him really, really strong and able to bounce around like Skippy from that old TV show. By that line of reasoning, I should have become fluent in Spanish by now from having tacos every Tuesday night for dinner!

DC’s lamester this go ‘round is the Cannoneer from The Brave and the Bold #77, May 1968. This guy’s shtick was to load himself into a cannon and have his assistant, Dum Dum, fire him “halfway across the city” through the exact window of the room from which he wanted to steal. I don’t know why his toady was called Dum Dum, the guy had to be some kind of ballistics super genius to pull that crap off! Also assisting the Cannoneer was “beautiful circus midget” Lilli de la Pooche. He gave her a pill that shrunk her down to a few inches tall, mainly it seems to give Batman’s team-up partner of the month, the Atom, something to do while Bats battled Cannoneer and Dum Dum. For the record, Cannoneer actually managed to KO Batman in a one-on-one fight (Bats of course bounced back and won in the end), and Lilli and Atom’s fight featured such out of the ordinary (for a comic book super brawl) weapons as a yoyo, perfume atomizer (no pun intended), a wax flower, and a powder puff (wielded, surprisingly, by Atom not Lilli!). If Cannoneer, Lilli or Dum Dum ever showed up in another comic, I’m not aware of it.

Random Review #2: World's Finest #176, June 1968

Random Review #2: World Finest #176, June 1968

Last time out we looked back at a Marvel comic from the late Sixties, this time we’ll try our luck with DC.

“The Superman-Batman Split!”

Cary Bates, writer
Neal Adams, artist
Dick Giordano, inker

The splash page of World’s Finest #176 is split vertically right down the middle. On the left, a shadowy figure has dissolved Clark Kent’s clothing, revealing him as Superman; and on the right, a similar scene depicts another darkened figure confronting Batman in the Bat-Cave and calling him by his real name.

The story opens with Clark Kent visiting the mansion of movie star Ronald Jason, a favorite of his for years. Jason interrupts the tour of his home to reveal that he knows Clark is secretly Superman, and exposes Clark’s costume with a chemical bomb that dissolves his outer clothing.

“Jason” himself then unmasks, revealing himself as Dur, a blue-skinned alien from “the fifth planet in the Sirius solar system”. He claims he’s come to Earth to hide from the assassin(s) who murdered the planet’s leader, whom Dur is scheduled to succeed after a 10-day period of mourning. Dur says he chose Earth because his people have studied our world from afar for many years and know its languages and customs. These long-distance studies are also how Dur knows Superman’s secret. Dur says he has chosen to reveal his own secret to Superman because he has reason to believe the killer(s) have tracked him to Earth to finish him off. Superman whisks Dur away to the safety of the Fortress of Solitude, but has to leave him there alone to undertake a mission of mercy to a distant galaxy.

“Later that same day”, Batman discovers a blue-skinned alien intruder in the Bat-Cave. The intruder introduces himself as Tiron, a law-enforcement officer from another planet. He says he has come to Earth by way of a molecular transporter, in pursuit of a dangerous criminal from his world. Tiron asks for Batman’s help in apprehending the fugitive, whose name is Dur.

Batman wants to bring in Superman for help, but Tiron vetoes the plan because he has learned that Dur has already tricked Superman into aiding him. Instead, Batman and Tiron fly in the Bat-Plane to Stanhope College to recruit the aid of Supergirl. The Maid of Might suggests that if Superman is indeed aiding Dur, the most likely place to hide Dur would be the Fortress of Solitiude. Bats and Supergirl set out for the Arctic, but Tiron elects to stay behind to rendezvous with some other agents from his world.

At the Fortress, Supergirl uses her Kryptonian strength to heft the huge key that unlocks the great door, but Superman arrives to warn them off. Supergirl throws the key at her cousin while Batman slips inside to search for the alien criminal. Batman gets the drop on Dur, but Superman has already overpowered Supergirl and tossed her away. Superman catches Batman in a cage from his interplanetary zoo and escapes with Dur…both heroes believe the other has been duped. Supergirl returns and frees Batman. They decide to contact Tiron and bring him up to speed.

Superman scoops out a cave for Dur to use as a new hiding place, informing his alien ally that he’ll need help if he’s to hold off both Batman and Supergirl again. Superman heads to Gotham City Park and attracts the attention of Batgirl (whose secret identity he doesn’t know) by posing as a statue from the park come to life. They return to Dur’s cave and, after hearing them out, Batgirl decides to join their cause.

“The next day, in Metropolis”, Robin confronts Jimmy Olsen in his apartment and they head to their own headquarters, the Eyrie, to investigate why their adult chums are at odds. Using the secret, unauthorized video feeds they’ve established in both the Bat-Cave and the Fortress, the lads make a startling discovery about the aliens. They rush to alert their pals of the truth, but are waylaid by knockout gas and fall unconscious in their own base.

Meanwhile, Batman, Supergirl, and Tiron have traced Superman’s Justice League of America signal device to the cave where he has hidden Dur. Donning kryptonite gloves, Batman sets out to battle Superman while Supergirl slips around back to retrieve Dur. Tiron lures Superman out with a ray gun blast, then Batman strikes unexpectedly and takes Superman to the ground. Batman lands a solid green-K punch on his old friend.

By then, Supergirl has reached the rear of the cave and is slugging her way through the solid rock when Batgirl catches her unawares with a thick spray of “synthetic adhesive”. Supergirl frees herself with her heat vision.

Batman spots Batgirl falling from her perch atop the cave and, with Superman weakened by the kryptonite, he has to break off to save her. That leaves Batman vulnerable to Superman’s counter attack, a makeshift lasso fashioned from Superman’s cape, that allows the Man of Steel to incapacitate Batman without coming within range of the kryptonite.

Suddenly Tiron collapses. He announces that he is dying, and reveals himself to really be Ronald Jason after all. In fact, Jason is both Tiron and Dur! He explains that his brother Desmond Jason, a brilliant scientist, had recently made some unique breakthroughs including a fabric-dissolving chemical bomb, a miniature jet-pack, an artificial, lighter-than-air radioactive element, and, most astonishingly of all, voice print scans which revealed the true identities of both Superman and Batman.

Unfortunately, the radioactive element was highly unstable, and went critical as Ronald and Desmond were touring the laboratory. Desmond was killed, and Ronald was dosed with fatal radiation levels. With his own death sentence hanging over his head, Ronald salvaged his brother’s inventions and decided to make his last days the most exciting of his entire life. Using his own expertise with makeup and disguise, he crafted his alien masks and uniforms, then set his hoax in motion. He used the jet-pack to travel back and forth between identities, and spent his last days on Earth giving “the greatest performance of all-time”.

As Jason passes, Robin and Jimmy Olsen finally arrive, excited with their discovery. Superman confesses that it was he who gassed them, though, because he knew all along he was being tricked. Jason gave himself away with his choice of the aliens’ homeworld, which Superman had once explored and knew to be uninhabited. He used his x-ray vision to learn who was truly behind the alien mask, and devices in the Fortress of Solitude diagnosed Jason’s fatal illness. Superman and Batman opted to play along, but left Batgirl and Supergirl in the dark so Jason’ act could be considered a success.

In the final panel, all six heroes gather to pay their respects to Ronald Jason, and to treasure the private performance he gave for their benefit.

In those days, World’s Finest books included a reprint back-up story under the “Editor’s Round Table” imprint. The story chosen for this issue is the second ever appearance of John Jones, the Manhunter from Mars, from Detective Comics #226, December 1955. In “The Case of the Magic Baseball”, John is tasked with protecting an aspiring big league pitcher from blackmailers threatening to reveal his criminal record. The pitcher, Big Bob Michaels, genuinely wants to go straight, so John uses the vast powers at his disposal (including Martian "molecular hypnosis") to control the game and prevent Michaels from succumbing to the gangsters’ pressure. In the end, Big Bob not only pitches a shutout but also hits the game-winning home run, and John invisibly nabs the crooks who inevitably confess to their wrongdoings.

WOW! This is one of my all-time favorites issues of World’s Finest. Everything is just right in the tale of doomed actor Ronald Jason and the greatest performance of his career. Superman, Batman, Supergirl, Batgirl, Robin, and Jimmy Olsen all in story? Readers certainly got their 12 cents worth. The Adams art was fantastic, particularly the panels where Batman catches the falling Batgirl and the one with Supergirl smashing the giant Fortress key into Superman. Pitting the heroes against each other was a nice touch by Bates, too, especially the way he paired off Supes/Batgirl and Bats/Supergirl. The scene wherein Batman pretends to hammer Superman with gloves made fron green kryptonite is oddly prophetic. Comics fans may recall a similar, non-faked scene played out in the pages of Frank Miller's 1986 mini-series, The Dark Knight Returns.

The Martian Manhunter back-up tale was fun, especially for a baseball fan like me. As I mentioned in my “Was the Flash First?” blog entry awhile back, John in those days was much more of a detective with a gimmick than a super hero, but what a gimmick he had! He manages to pack no less than nine super-powered feats into the six page story.

Bottom Line: Great story + great art + great cast = Great Book!

Random Review #1: Amazing Spider-Man #71

Random Review #1: Amazing Spider-Man #71, April 1969

In this first of a new series of articles, I will review a randomly selected comic from my own Silver Age collection.

“The Speedster and the Spider!”
Stan Lee, writer
John Romita, artist
Jim Mooney, inker

As the tale opens, Peter Parker is sitting on his bed, halfway through doffing his Spider-Man costume. On the floor beside him is the Lifeline Tablet, which Spidey barely managed to keep out of the Kingpin’s meaty mitts in the previous issue. Peter is worried that the scare he put into J. Jonah Jameson at the conclusion of the previous story may have given the Daily Bugle’s irascible publisher a fatal heart attack, thus proving that he is the menace Jameson always claimed he was.

Peter’s then-roommate, Harry Osborn, comes in from a date with Mary Jane Watson, and Peter barely has time to throw on a robe over his costume. Alone after Harry goes to bed, Peter is glad to learn that the pictures he snapped of his battle with the Kingpin came out very clearly, but his exultation is short-lived as he realizes that, with Jameson in the hospital, he has no one to sell them to.

Meanwhile, on a New York street, the former Avenger Quicksilver has finally returned to the city after his adventures on Magneto’s island fortress, which was destroyed in Avengers #53. A brief flashback shows how Quicksilver and his sister, the Scarlet Witch, crash-landed along with the Toad in the Adirondacks. Eager to prove that they are not truly evil, Quicksilver speeds off toward New York to explain his and his sister’s part in the Magneto affair to the Avengers. Back in the present, he reaches Avengers Mansion, only to learn from Jarvis, the Avengers’ butler, that the entire team is in Africa on a mission.

Leaving the mansion disappointed, Quicksilver chances to spy a new edition of the Daily Bugle, whose headline reads “Spider-Man Wanted!” Deciding that fate has presented him with an opportunity for redemption, Quicksilver begins his hunt for Spider-Man.

At the hospital, a doctor informs Joe Robertson that J. Jonah Jameson did not have a heart attack, only a case of shock. Jonah’s son, Colonel John Jameson shows up, too, and Robbie leaves John to watch over Jonah while he goes home to his wife, Martha.

At the Robertsons’, Joe and Martha talk about their son Randy and worry about the state of the world Randy has to grow up in.

The next morning, at the Bugle, Joe tells Jameson’s secretary Betty Brant to scratch his appointments for the day, as he expects to be busy doing his own job and Jonah’s as well. Peter Parker arrives with his photos, and Robertson is delighted with them. Not only do they show that Spider-Man tried to prevent the theft of the Lifeline Tablet, they also prove that the college protestors, Randy Robertson among them, had no part in the crime, either. Peter leaves, happily clutching a hefty check cut by Joe Robertson.

Still eager to rid himself of the precious tablet, Spidey webs his way over to George Stacy’s apartment. He delivers the tablet and hastily departs, ignoring Stacy’s pleas for him to come back and talk.

Web-slinging high across the city, Spidey is alerted to danger by his Spider-Sense. His web shot is blocked by a green blur that he realizes is Quicksilver, who announces his intention to bring Spider-Man to justice. Spidey takes refuge under the marquee of a hotel, but Quicksilver spots him and yanks him down by spinning at “ultra-high speed”.

Spidey tries to persuade his opponent that he is also one of the good guys, but Quicksilver insists on continuing the battle. Spider-Man manages to grab his fleet-footed foe by the legs, but Quicksilver scoffs at Spidey’s so-called sped and, punching his way free, boasts that Spidey is moving in slow motion compared to the green-garbed mutant. Quicksilver rains blow after super-speed blow on Spider-Man, claiming that even Spidey’s vaunted Spider strength cannot save him.

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Bugle reporter Ned Leeds delivers the latest copy of the Bugle to J. Jonah Jameson. Jameson explodes when he sees the article and photos exonerating Spider-Man, and his son struggles to calm him down while Ned goes for the doctor.

Back at the fight scene, Quicksilver finds himself admiring Spidey’s heart even while administering the beat down. Spidey tries in vain to connect with a super strong punch. Realizing that his physical strength is not enough to overwhelm the vastly stronger Spider-Man, Quicksilver changes tactics, running in super-speed circles around Spidey to create a “whirlpool of air” that will rob Spidey of breath.

Battered and on the verge of defeat, Spidey manages to throw his arm into Quicksilver’s path. The impact knocks the mutant speedster out cold. Just then, the cops show up, and Spidey flees with his unconscious opponent in tow. He adjourns to a nearby rooftop and stays with Quicksilver until he wakes up.

Quicksilver, acknowledging that Spidey could have killed while he was out, declares a truce and proclaims he will find another way to earn his redemption. Spidey webs away, hoping his run of bad luck is over while simultaneously fearing that even worse troubles are on the horizon.

I only recently added this book to my collection, having picked up a decent copy at FX 2009. It has no major plot points or revelation, just the usual excellent characterization Lee had virtually invented for that particular series plus a pretty entertaining fight scene between two good guys.

The fight was uncommon in that the general rule of the day was that there would be no clear cut winner when two heroes met and, inevitably, mixed it up a bit. Standard procedure called for both heroes to get some licks in then call a draw and team-up to go after some common threat. This story, though, shows Spidey withstanding everything Quicksilver could throw at him then downing Quicksilver with a single blow.

The art is excellent, with Romita at the peak of his powers. He does an especially good job of depicting Quicksilver in motion. For the most part, he chooses not to rely on the Jack Kirby and Don Heck method of just showing a humanoid green blur, instead using multiple images, action lines and dynamic poses to convey the speed of Quicksilver’s movements.

Romita’s pencils are very suitably inked by Jim Mooney, who was a pretty talented Spidey artist in his own right on books like Marvel Team-Up and Spectacular Spider-Man.


Bottom Line: An enjoyable read with appropriately “amazing” art.

The League of Ridiculous Villains, Part Two

The League of Ridiculous Villains, Part Two

Like last time, we'll discuss two lamesters, one from Marvel and one from DC.

Marvel’s pick this time around is the Acrobat, from Strange Tales #106, March 1963. Somehow, this guy convinced the Human Torch to quit the Fantastic Four and join him as half of the Torrid Twosome. He had no real super powers. He was, like the Tumbler in Part One of this series, just an athlete and “the world’s greatest acrobat”. He did carry some weapons, including a “liquid asbestos” gun. In his first appearance, he tricked the Torch into helping him rob a bank, even though his lifestyle and equipment indicated he was already loaded. He got caught by the FF.

In his second appearance, he once again targeted a bank, but only after an elaborate ruse. He amped up the audacity meter to the nth degree by dressing himself up as Captain America! It didn’t help his success rate any, and he ended up back in the crowbar motel. His criminal success rate was equaled by his fashion success rate. His costume was a yellow jumpsuit with a green beret. (Later, a green jumpsuit with an orange beret). How the heck did he keep the beret on while doing all that running and jumping? Hair pins? If you’re a dude, your super villain costume should not rely on hair pins! Man law!

DC’s latest lamester is Headmaster Mind, from Justice League of America #28, June 1964, and #69, February 1969. This guy somehow managed to get the marginally less lame trio of Matter Master, Tattooed Man, and the Top to work for him while he was dressed in an academic gown and mortarboard hat! He also had no real super powers, just a degree of scientific genius and, apparently, no shame.